Wedding Advice from a Bride – 6/27/24 From the Connecticut Brides to Be Facebook Forum
I got married Sunday(!!!) and while it’s fresh in my mind, I wanted to share some thoughts from the planning process and the day itself. Some are budget related, some are just general planning tips, and some are for those who are just generally anxious or “stressy” about things.
**This is a long one just FYI,**
Starting off strong…
1. Splurge on the things you truly want to enjoy on your day and save on everything else.
This one is super common, but I feel it’s worth emphasizing. We went all out with the venue, music (live band), and photo/video, and kept everything else more conservative. Our centerpieces were simple and minimal, including our decor, and we have no regrets. To be completely honest, we didn’t even have time to notice most of anything. The day goes by so fast that you really only are able to take in so much. Prioritize what you want to enjoy on your day!
2. If you have family contributing monetarily, you still can stand your ground on decisions.
Every family/support system is different, but in the end it is a day for YOU and your future spouse! As someone with a “high-maintenance family”, what worked well for me was having family focus on things that really didn’t make-or-break the day. Think flip flops for the dance floor, bathroom baskets, etc. If you give them something they can control completely, you’d be surprised at how easily things will go.
3. Choose a venue with a legitimate rain/weather/indoor plan.
One of the main reasons we chose our venue was not only was their outdoor ceremony area incredibly beautiful, but their indoor plan was also just as beautiful. I am a very anxious person, but I had no anxiety regarding the weather that day because I knew that whether it was outside or inside it would still be beautiful. We toured some other venues and way too many places have a less than ideal option or no option at all if there’s inclement weather or it’s too hot/cold.
4. Pick a venue that suits your personality and tendencies.
I get anxious about a lot of things, so what was important to me was the following:
* Having the venue all to ourselves for the day
* Having everything in the same place (getting ready, ceremony, reception)
* Having a solid weather option (see above)
* All inclusive – no need to worry about catering/bar/tables/linens/etc
All of these aspects were important to me but may not matter to you! Think about how you may feel on the day and use that to your advantage when choosing a venue and vendors.
5. Pay vendors in cash for a discount.
This may not work for all vendors, but we were able to save 10% on photo and video by paying in cash. Ask your vendors if this is an option!
6. Seriously consider going digital, especially for RSVPs.
We used The Knot for our whole RSVP process. I created our invites on Canva and included a QR code for RSVP. No return cards or tracking needed. It made that piece so much less stressful.
A few notes on what I think made things easy for us:
* In the RSVP form, we also asked for email addresses. This allowed us to send reminder emails about our wedding day as we got closer.
* About a month after sending invites out, we reached out to folks to make sure they received our invite (very politely). I think this made a huge difference down the line with having to only chase down a handful of people after the deadline.
* Nobody complained about the digital RSVP, and if there were issues, they reached out or we sent them the link directly.
It may feel like too much communication, but we had full attendance day of, which surprised both of us!
7. If you want to make time for you and your spouse alone, do a first look.
We went into this wedding fully expecting to pop into cocktail hour. Instead, after the ceremony and family photos, we had about 30 minutes to ourselves up in the bridal suite to process and decompress. It was extremely worth it after being in “go mode” for the first chunk of the day. I also was grateful to have most of our pictures done before the ceremony. There are many reasons to do a first look, but I just wanted to share my perspective on how motivations can change! Obviously, this only really is helpful if you haven’t seen your spouse all day prior to, but you do you!
8. If you are Type A/like to plan, make time once a week to work on “wedding stuff”. Also delegate stuff to your non-Type-A partner.
There is no need to think about your upcoming wedding every single day. Especially if you have a longer engagement (we had about 2 years), allow yourself the space each week to really hone in on anything that needs to be done. Pick one day a week for you and your partner to look through the to-do list (yes I know you have one) and see what can be taken care of. And if there’s nothing pressing to do, make it a date night!
Also, please delegate certain things for your partner to work on/manage. It will save you so much stress.
9. If you are walking down the aisle, nothing will prepare you for how that will feel.
I was basically crying the entire time from stepping out of the suite to the aisle and even walking down. It is a surreal experience and feeling, and very hard to describe. All of your closest people standing there supporting you and envying you. Honestly not much to say here except that there is really no way to prepare for this.
10. There is such a thing as too much partying.
My single regret is not telling our band to have a set with more laid back/jazzy vibes in between the dance sets. They were still incredible, but the general tip is make sure your DJ or band knows to slow it down a bit for those who don’t want to jump around and dance hard. I’ve even been to weddings where the DJ was just all high-energy music the entire night and it became super tiring and un-exciting.
11. Have non-dancing activities for your reception.
I made a crossword puzzle that was at each guests seat and it was a big hit! When we made our rounds, we constantly had people asking us what the answers were (to no avail obviously) We also had a photo booth too! Not all of your guests will want to or like to dance, so it’s definitely worth catering to those folks.
12. And lastly, you can literally do what ever you want! It’s YOUR DAY!**
Do or don’t listen to me, an internet stranger. Do what feels right to you! You (ideally) only get married once and will probably never have as many people from so many parts of your life in one room again. Make it your own and I promise that all the little things you are worried about won’t matter as much on the day. It’s really about the people and the incredible human you are choosing marriage with!
If you made it all the way through, I hope these thoughts and tips help those who are still planning!
We hope you enjoyed reading this very detailed entry to offer wedding advice from a 2024 bride.
