Do I need to provide my DJ with all of the music for my wedding?

The short answer is, “No”

It’s story time.

About 7 years ago at a country club wedding in Simsbury, I had a couple that was very difficult to work with. As was the mother of the bride.
The bride had expressed that she wanted ALL gangster rap and twerk music for her wedding. We’re not talking about the benign “Hypnotize” by Biggie. We’re talking about strip club music in the depths of the streets you’d never drive down during the daylight in Waterbury. We opened the floor with her requests and she and 1 bridesmaid hit the floor and were grinding and putting on a show.

The rest of the guests sat and didn’t move a muscle. After 10 minutes of dancing with her BFF, it was time to cool off and they both walked outside. I quickly got the floor full with some favorites and the guests were smiling and really enjoying the reception. But then… just as I was getting things warmed up, the bride and BFF came back and scolded me for veering off of her playlist. So, of course, seeing how it’s out job to make sure our clients are satisfied, I obliged her requests. The guests walked off the floor and quite a few grabbed their coats and purses and headed for the door. It stayed that way the rest of the night.

What was I supposed to do? Make a choice between my client or the guests. That’s not an easy position to be in.

So that begs the question, Do I need to provide my DJ with all of the music for my wedding?

On average, I have the privilege of working with between 40-60 couples per year. And of those couples, about 80% can tell me about a wedding experience that they did not like and do not want to repeat for their wedding day.

The number one objection would have to be that the DJ could not get people to dance or that the wedding they attended was boring. And because of that, they really feel that the music played by the DJ was to blame. Now, if I wasn’t a DJ, I might agree with them. However, as a DJ, lots of couples that hand in a complete 7 hour playlist and only want their music played don’t fully understand the concept of a DJ. Our job is to cater to the entire audience. Weddings are like a family reunion of sorts. You’ve got grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles, co workers, college friends, and your best friend Becky and her 6th grader that absolutely loves the cotton eyed joe. By taking control of the entire day’s worth of music, you assume FULL responsibility for how the day turns out. If you’re a huge folk music fan, chances are you’re not gonna see a lot of movement on the dance floor. Especially from the people that don’t enjoy that style of music. You and your wedding party might be a huge fan of trap music. And though your parents will undoubtedly smile that their son or daughter just got married, they may be a little hesitant to get out on the floor to Lil Uzi Vert for 3 hours.

Historically, the weddings where the couple puts in some input and trusts their wedding DJ are the weddings that are the most enjoyable to everyone in attendance.

As a rule of thumb, I encourage my couples to send me a list of 10-20 MUST HAVES that they absolutely need to hear on their wedding day so I can understand what their preferences are, and then fill in the gaps with whatever is going to have the best end result for a dance floor full of happy, smiling, and dancing guests.