Getting married made me a better wedding vendor.

Weddings are exciting times for many couples. They can also prove to be very stressful during the planning process. That’s where having a great wedding vendor comes in to play.
I’ve been married once before and I’m about to get married again in just 3 weeks and the Mrs and I are VERY excited to start this new chapter in our lives. We were both married before, have kids, and have plenty of experience between the both of us with weddings. Angela was a pastry chef specializing in wedding cakes and I have had an amazing 28 year career as a wedding dj. But even with our “industry insider” knowledge, we were still just a bride and a groom planning their wedding. Of course, there are some nuggets we gained over the years to help us plan out our wedding. And we of course have our past experiences from our previous marriages to go on. The great part of getting married a second time is that you learn really quickly what your priorities are and get to plan the wedding you always wanted.

My first wedding was 21 people at a country club in Watertown. We didn’t have a formal photographer and our DJ was thrown in with the venue as a package deal. (Not my first choice but, it was a compromise I made to keep the peace) Our DJ was terrible, unprofessional and un prepared. So much in fact that I walked to my car to give her my book of CDs I was using for my own weddings at the time for her to use. Our invitations were designed on the computer and printed at staples. Dinner was a buffet with staples like pasta, salad, and roast beef. There were grocery store flowers on the tables and standard table cloths. The wedding turned out this way because my then wife insisted she didn’t want a big celebration because in her previous marriage, money was no object and she had a big wedding. Also, her dad paid for the wedding which meant all of his colleagues, friends, etc were invited leaving her and her ex husband with just a few close friends.

My fiance’s first wedding was also a lavish affair with lots of detail and a couple hundred people in attendance. They had a DJ, Videographer, Photographer, 4 course meal, a massive cake, and many guests that they did not know that were invited by her parents because, you guessed it… they paid for the wedding. As a result, some family feuds took place and created some tension. Never a fun ordeal to deal with when you’re planning the happiest day of your life.

Fast forward to our wedding. We are paying for our own wedding. Which means we get to make choices that are important to us. Choosing the right wedding vendors was important. We both know that it is very easy to rack up a massive bill with all of the trimmings but as we both learned, the majority of guests remember the venue, cuisine and of course the DJ the most after a wedding. We talked about just eloping. We talked about a private ceremony in the middle of a field with just a few family and friends. But at the end of the day, we both agreed on a Christmas themed wedding. Why Christmas? It’s usually the holiday where everyone gets together. A family reunion so to speak.

Our guest list was 120 people which by our estimation left about 20 people who might not be able to make it. We were right! We’ve got just under 100 guests attending our wedding. Choosing a guest list was not hard at all. We learned from our previous weddings to invite only the people that are near and dear to us and be selective with colleagues and acquaintances. This not only lightened the bill but ensured that everyone in attendance were the people that we really wanted to be there.

The first step was finding a venue. We thought about renting a space and having it catered. But then, we’d need to clean up after. When you’re wearing a fitted dress and tux for 12 hours on your wedding day, the last thing you want to do is roll up your sleeves and clean. We decided on a traditional venue. Grand Oak Villa was calling our name. We had visited several other venues which were nice but they really had everything we were looking for.

When it came to the food, we both understood that all of our 100 guests don’t all like the same thing and some had dietary restrictions. To alleviate the stress of trying to appease everyone, we elected to do hot hors devours and food stations for dinner. We have a wide variety of options for everyone to enjoy and they can have as much or as little as they would like. Plus, for the venue, it’s a lot easier to serve a tray of food as opposed to plating 100 three course meals. This allows their staff to be more relaxed and have an easier day. Happy staff equals happy guests!

I had been asked probably a hundred times in the last year and a half of planning, “Are you DJing your own wedding?” I’m happy to announce, I took the day off and leaving the music to the professionals. But how does a DJ choose one of his peers to host their wedding? The same way any couple would. By making sure they are a good fit. We happily chose Todd from Jock in the Box entertainment. Todd has been a DJ just as long as I have and has the experience and diversity to keep a captive audience across all genres and walks of life. As an added bonus, we both have a knack for the 90’s and Y2K so seeing as how the Mrs and I are 43 & 45, it just made sense to have Todd. Another feature we love about Todd is that he puts his personality into his weddings. Todd is a very outgoing, positive, and energetic DJ. Being a daytime wedding, having the right DJ for the job is even more important because regardless of the time of day, they can execute the vibe you’re shooting for. Sidenote, we told Todd that even though he’s working that day, to please sit and enjoy a meal, have a beverage, and if possible, come on out and dance with us. His job is so very important that I wanted to give him every opportunity to feel his absolute best and have FUN! Because a happy DJ equals a happy dance floor.

When it came to a photographer, we chose a tried and true photographer. My good friend and sidekick Corey will be shooting our wedding. Corey is a professional wedding photographer and 2nd shooter for Fritz Photography. His eye for detail, fun personality, and willingness to think outside the box were just a few of the reasons we love Corey. Much like Todd, we encouraged Corey to relax and enjoy the day.

For a cake, we chose Sweet Marias. My fiance used to work for Maria as a cake decorator and with her extensive experience working along side her, we knew that she’d make a cake for us that was not only beautiful, but absolutely delicious as well. We went to her bakery in Waterbury for a tasting and tried all of the flavors. And there were so many to choose from. We decided on a simple yet flavorful cake. This way, no crumb would go wasted.

Our justice of the peace is Eva-Torres Luciano. Eva is a bilingual JP that is very passionate about her job. She took the time to really get to know us and is creating a custom short ceremony for us that we can’t wait to see!

And now that you’ve met our wedding team, you can see why we chose the people we did. They had all of the qualities we were looking for and they felt that we had similar qualities that they like to work with. Now more than ever before, I am a firm believer of finding people who are a good fit for your special day. They all know that they are working with a peer (which also can cause anxiety) but they also know that we want them to not only work our wedding, but to be a part of it with the creative freedom to really let their talents shine. When you pick your dream team, your event will be everything you want it to be and more.

We invested in what we felt was most important, and as a result, we need or want for nothing. Every single one of our vendors made us feel very comfortable and took the stress out of planning our wedding. They reminded us about meetings, tastings, payments, and more which helped us keep on track and ease a lot of the stress for us during our planning. We are truly grateful that we did things this way and can’t wait for the big day! I learned more about how to make my meetings more fun and helpful to my couples. I learned more about the importance of follow up and being choosier in who I work with to ensure we’re a good fit. And lastly, I learned to relax and let the process happen naturally. We’ve got 5 hours to celebrate. Instead of counting the moments, we’re going to make the moments count!