Do I need to provide my DJ with all of the music for my wedding?

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The short answer is, “No”

It’s story time.

About 7 years ago at a country club wedding in Simsbury, I had a couple that was very difficult to work with. As was the mother of the bride.
The bride had expressed that she wanted ALL gangster rap and twerk music for her wedding. We’re not talking about the benign “Hypnotize” by Biggie. We’re talking about strip club music in the depths of the streets you’d never drive down during the daylight in Waterbury. We opened the floor with her requests and she and 1 bridesmaid hit the floor and were grinding and putting on a show.

The rest of the guests sat and didn’t move a muscle. After 10 minutes of dancing with her BFF, it was time to cool off and they both walked outside. I quickly got the floor full with some favorites and the guests were smiling and really enjoying the reception. But then… just as I was getting things warmed up, the bride and BFF came back and scolded me for veering off of her playlist. So, of course, seeing how it’s out job to make sure our clients are satisfied, I obliged her requests. The guests walked off the floor and quite a few grabbed their coats and purses and headed for the door. It stayed that way the rest of the night.

What was I supposed to do? Make a choice between my client or the guests. That’s not an easy position to be in.

So that begs the question, Do I need to provide my DJ with all of the music for my wedding?

On average, I have the privilege of working with between 40-60 couples per year. And of those couples, about 80% can tell me about a wedding experience that they did not like and do not want to repeat for their wedding day.

The number one objection would have to be that the DJ could not get people to dance or that the wedding they attended was boring. And because of that, they really feel that the music played by the DJ was to blame. Now, if I wasn’t a DJ, I might agree with them. However, as a DJ, lots of couples that hand in a complete 7 hour playlist and only want their music played don’t fully understand the concept of a DJ. Our job is to cater to the entire audience. Weddings are like a family reunion of sorts. You’ve got grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles, co workers, college friends, and your best friend Becky and her 6th grader that absolutely loves the cotton eyed joe. By taking control of the entire day’s worth of music, you assume FULL responsibility for how the day turns out. If you’re a huge folk music fan, chances are you’re not gonna see a lot of movement on the dance floor. Especially from the people that don’t enjoy that style of music. You and your wedding party might be a huge fan of trap music. And though your parents will undoubtedly smile that their son or daughter just got married, they may be a little hesitant to get out on the floor to Lil Uzi Vert for 3 hours.

Historically, the weddings where the couple puts in some input and trusts their wedding DJ are the weddings that are the most enjoyable to everyone in attendance.

As a rule of thumb, I encourage my couples to send me a list of 10-20 MUST HAVES that they absolutely need to hear on their wedding day so I can understand what their preferences are, and then fill in the gaps with whatever is going to have the best end result for a dance floor full of happy, smiling, and dancing guests.



Why should I hire a DJ for my wedding?

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It’s 2024. Traditions are running their course, and couples are giving weddings a fresh start with new trends! Today’s couples are very thrifty and trendy. They make their own style with what they have. And that is just fantastic. But even with new trends being curated daily, one thing remains. Whether or not to book a DJ for your wedding.

Here are the top 10 reasons why you should hire a DJ for your wedding.

1. Let’s talk music.
Whether you’re looking for throwbacks or the latest trending hit on TikTok, DJs have a keen ability to almost always find EXACTLY what you’re looking for. And when it comes to the general public, most people want to hear the original song or at the very least original artist for their music selections. Hiring a DJ for your wedding has its perks. Generally, most DJs carry between 20,000-500,000 song titles with them at all times. They’re literally prepared 90% of the time for whatever the party calls for. Ensuring the music you need for your wedding is as easy and sending over a playlist or a Spotify link to a wedding playlist you’ve created. It’s literally that easy. In addition to expansive music libraries and keeping up to date with wedding trends, you can rely on your DJ to also double as your master of ceremonies.

2. The difference between your Friday night bar DJ and a professional wedding DJ.
While the club/bar DJ typically makes between 200-300 per night, a wedding DJ will generally charge much more. Reason being, in the club setting, there is a low margin for error. But with weddings, we only have one opportunity to get it right. It’s that important. So be sure to invest in the perfect celebration with a wedding DJ that is as reliable as they are talented.

3. Experience counts.
Experienced wedding DJs have seen it all. We could literally write books about the celebrations and situations that we’ve come across with every wedding we host. That’s where experience really comes into play. Have you ever wondered why it might take a little longer for your meal to arrive, but you ended up doing a 15-minute impromptu dance set before dinner? It’s more than likely because the kitchen needed just a few more moments to ensure that your meal comes out perfect. So, as a distraction and to keep your guests in a celebratory mood, we get them out there until it’s time for your meal. That’s just one example of what an experienced wedding DJ can do for your celebration. We are the keeper of the keys when it comes to your timeline. We are your peace of mind.

4 Reliability
Reliability comes in many forms when it comes to hiring a DJ for your wedding. Backup equipment, backup DJs, and the ability to seamlessly adapt to a broad variety of guests music preferences are just a few of the hallmarks that make up a reliable wedding DJ. As for references from your other vendors about the DJ you’re hiring. They know first-hand who’s reliable and who isn’t because they work with a variety of DJs every single weekend.

5. Equipment Quality
Lots of DJs have adopted the line of thinking that clients and couples don’t care about what you use when it comes to gear. But as an experienced wedding DJ, I can tell you that couldn’t be the furthest thing from the truth. It ABSOLUTELY matters. Safety is a HUGE priority. Having equipment that has been rigorously tested, built to withstand the rigors of the road, and working flawlessly weekend after weekend are pertinent to the success of your wedding celebration. You should hire a DJ for your wedding that invests in quality.

6. Emcee Skills
An experienced master of ceremonies or MC or EMCEE will be able to command an audience appropriately for the event they are hosting, they will clearly communicate with class to your friends and family the happenings of your wedding celebration and work with the rest of your creative team to make sure the day goes smoothly.

7. Flexibility and Customization
The best wedding DJs are highly adaptable to change and have a flow to them that will roll with the ever-changing requirements for each and every wedding they are a part of. In terms of customization, the best wedding DJs will be able to help you achieve your goals and have resources at their disposal to help make that happen.

8. Reviews & References
Be sure to look for reviews on google and other sites from real clients that have used the DJ you are considering for your wedding. The reviews you are looking for should be consistent with the type of service that you can expect after booking them.

9. Cost
There is a DJ for every budget. But remember, the bitterness of poor quality will overshadow the sweetness of savings. Think about the investment that you’ve already made with your venue, photographer, dress, and many other details. Your DJ can and will make or break your celebration. This is a fact. Every year, we get at least one phone call from a couple or co-vendor scrambling to find a DJ to save the day because the low budget option either did not show up, showed up un-prepared, or intoxicated. Make sure you sign a contract with the DJ that you’re booking. It protects you and them. Most professional wedding DJs in CT will run between $1500-3000 respectively. Anything below that, you’re probably working with a beginner that does not have the appropriate experience to host your wedding.

10. Personality
Finding a DJ for your wedding is like finding a marriage partner. Once you commit, you have to be confident in your decision. Above all else, be honest with yourself and make sure that the DJ you’re considering is a good personality match for you and your fiancé.

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Aaron & Angela DeMarestAaron DeMarest

Getting married made me a better wedding vendor.

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Weddings are exciting times for many couples. They can also prove to be very stressful during the planning process. That’s where having a great wedding vendor comes in to play.
I’ve been married once before and I’m about to get married again in just 3 weeks and the Mrs and I are VERY excited to start this new chapter in our lives. We were both married before, have kids, and have plenty of experience between the both of us with weddings. Angela was a pastry chef specializing in wedding cakes and I have had an amazing 28 year career as a wedding dj. But even with our “industry insider” knowledge, we were still just a bride and a groom planning their wedding. Of course, there are some nuggets we gained over the years to help us plan out our wedding. And we of course have our past experiences from our previous marriages to go on. The great part of getting married a second time is that you learn really quickly what your priorities are and get to plan the wedding you always wanted.

My first wedding was 21 people at a country club in Watertown. We didn’t have a formal photographer and our DJ was thrown in with the venue as a package deal. (Not my first choice but, it was a compromise I made to keep the peace) Our DJ was terrible, unprofessional and un prepared. So much in fact that I walked to my car to give her my book of CDs I was using for my own weddings at the time for her to use. Our invitations were designed on the computer and printed at staples. Dinner was a buffet with staples like pasta, salad, and roast beef. There were grocery store flowers on the tables and standard table cloths. The wedding turned out this way because my then wife insisted she didn’t want a big celebration because in her previous marriage, money was no object and she had a big wedding. Also, her dad paid for the wedding which meant all of his colleagues, friends, etc were invited leaving her and her ex husband with just a few close friends.

My fiance’s first wedding was also a lavish affair with lots of detail and a couple hundred people in attendance. They had a DJ, Videographer, Photographer, 4 course meal, a massive cake, and many guests that they did not know that were invited by her parents because, you guessed it… they paid for the wedding. As a result, some family feuds took place and created some tension. Never a fun ordeal to deal with when you’re planning the happiest day of your life.

Fast forward to our wedding. We are paying for our own wedding. Which means we get to make choices that are important to us. Choosing the right wedding vendors was important. We both know that it is very easy to rack up a massive bill with all of the trimmings but as we both learned, the majority of guests remember the venue, cuisine and of course the DJ the most after a wedding. We talked about just eloping. We talked about a private ceremony in the middle of a field with just a few family and friends. But at the end of the day, we both agreed on a Christmas themed wedding. Why Christmas? It’s usually the holiday where everyone gets together. A family reunion so to speak.

Our guest list was 120 people which by our estimation left about 20 people who might not be able to make it. We were right! We’ve got just under 100 guests attending our wedding. Choosing a guest list was not hard at all. We learned from our previous weddings to invite only the people that are near and dear to us and be selective with colleagues and acquaintances. This not only lightened the bill but ensured that everyone in attendance were the people that we really wanted to be there.

The first step was finding a venue. We thought about renting a space and having it catered. But then, we’d need to clean up after. When you’re wearing a fitted dress and tux for 12 hours on your wedding day, the last thing you want to do is roll up your sleeves and clean. We decided on a traditional venue. Grand Oak Villa was calling our name. We had visited several other venues which were nice but they really had everything we were looking for.

When it came to the food, we both understood that all of our 100 guests don’t all like the same thing and some had dietary restrictions. To alleviate the stress of trying to appease everyone, we elected to do hot hors devours and food stations for dinner. We have a wide variety of options for everyone to enjoy and they can have as much or as little as they would like. Plus, for the venue, it’s a lot easier to serve a tray of food as opposed to plating 100 three course meals. This allows their staff to be more relaxed and have an easier day. Happy staff equals happy guests!

I had been asked probably a hundred times in the last year and a half of planning, “Are you DJing your own wedding?” I’m happy to announce, I took the day off and leaving the music to the professionals. But how does a DJ choose one of his peers to host their wedding? The same way any couple would. By making sure they are a good fit. We happily chose Todd from Jock in the Box entertainment. Todd has been a DJ just as long as I have and has the experience and diversity to keep a captive audience across all genres and walks of life. As an added bonus, we both have a knack for the 90’s and Y2K so seeing as how the Mrs and I are 43 & 45, it just made sense to have Todd. Another feature we love about Todd is that he puts his personality into his weddings. Todd is a very outgoing, positive, and energetic DJ. Being a daytime wedding, having the right DJ for the job is even more important because regardless of the time of day, they can execute the vibe you’re shooting for. Sidenote, we told Todd that even though he’s working that day, to please sit and enjoy a meal, have a beverage, and if possible, come on out and dance with us. His job is so very important that I wanted to give him every opportunity to feel his absolute best and have FUN! Because a happy DJ equals a happy dance floor.

When it came to a photographer, we chose a tried and true photographer. My good friend and sidekick Corey will be shooting our wedding. Corey is a professional wedding photographer and 2nd shooter for Fritz Photography. His eye for detail, fun personality, and willingness to think outside the box were just a few of the reasons we love Corey. Much like Todd, we encouraged Corey to relax and enjoy the day.

For a cake, we chose Sweet Marias. My fiance used to work for Maria as a cake decorator and with her extensive experience working along side her, we knew that she’d make a cake for us that was not only beautiful, but absolutely delicious as well. We went to her bakery in Waterbury for a tasting and tried all of the flavors. And there were so many to choose from. We decided on a simple yet flavorful cake. This way, no crumb would go wasted.

Our justice of the peace is Eva-Torres Luciano. Eva is a bilingual JP that is very passionate about her job. She took the time to really get to know us and is creating a custom short ceremony for us that we can’t wait to see!

And now that you’ve met our wedding team, you can see why we chose the people we did. They had all of the qualities we were looking for and they felt that we had similar qualities that they like to work with. Now more than ever before, I am a firm believer of finding people who are a good fit for your special day. They all know that they are working with a peer (which also can cause anxiety) but they also know that we want them to not only work our wedding, but to be a part of it with the creative freedom to really let their talents shine. When you pick your dream team, your event will be everything you want it to be and more.

We invested in what we felt was most important, and as a result, we need or want for nothing. Every single one of our vendors made us feel very comfortable and took the stress out of planning our wedding. They reminded us about meetings, tastings, payments, and more which helped us keep on track and ease a lot of the stress for us during our planning. We are truly grateful that we did things this way and can’t wait for the big day! I learned more about how to make my meetings more fun and helpful to my couples. I learned more about the importance of follow up and being choosier in who I work with to ensure we’re a good fit. And lastly, I learned to relax and let the process happen naturally. We’ve got 5 hours to celebrate. Instead of counting the moments, we’re going to make the moments count!

Are you making a wedding playlist?

Are you creating a wedding playlist?

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You’ve got the venue, the dress, photographer, and guest list on lock and ready to go! It’s time to talk about the soundtrack to your celebration. Weddings in CT are typically a 5-6 hour affair from wedding ceremony to the last dance. So how many songs per hour should you consider listing? Most songs are on average 3 and a half minutes in length. Over a 6 hour ceremony and reception, back to back, that’s about 107 songs.

So which ones should you choose? Our rule of thumb is, give us 10-20 of your absolute must haves for your wedding. This still leaves over 80 songs left. But generally, we’ll play between 2-300 songs throughout the festivities. How do we bend the space/time continuum? By seamlessly mixing and blending songs together. We can do this because we are constantly reading the audience, how they are reacting to what we are doing, and switching things up depending on the vibe we’re getting.

This is why pre-stacked wedding playlists are generally a no-no for events such as weddings. Wedding DJs know that weddings are a melting pot of people of all different age ranges and walks of life. One person’s Elvis is another person’s Drake and so on. Now I know what you’re probably thinking… The most commonly shared story that we hear about past experiences is that the DJ they experienced was playing a lot of non-danceable music. This could happen for one of a variety of reasons.

The DJ may have had explicit instructions not to derive from his client’s wedding playlist and it may have contained a lot of music that his clients enjoyed but not too many floor fillers. Or, maybe the DJ wasn’t a good fit for his client and wasn’t as compatible with the audience then they should have been. Either way, these situations can be removed from the equation by working with a quality wedding DJ that is attentive and knowledgeable.

Another tricky bit about music at weddings is that there are occasions where the timeline might be running a tad behind. And in those cases, with a pre-stacked wedding playlist, you’d have to be able to add songs on the fly that would extend the time and or create a event where it speeds things up and gets the day back on track. You have much more flexibility when you book your wedding dj. And finally, when you send your wedding dj a playlist to play with no possibility of deriving from it, you now take the reigns on the success of your wedding reception.

Your DJ is there to guide you and assist you and your guests to experience the best celebration they’ve ever attended.

Should I hire a Wedding Planner?

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That all depends. One thing is for sure, all of your wedding vendors want nothing more than for you to be able to sit back, relax, and enjoy your wedding. But what if all of your planning fell by the wayside and you were running behind schedule. What if you miss your sunset pictures, or what if you can’t find your dad for the father daughter dance? These are all very common things that can happen at weddings. Some are in our control and some are not. But none the less, wedding professionals have a lot of practice when it comes to the flow of a wedding and the know how to get things back on track.

So should you hire a wedding planner? Yes. BUT, with conditions.
So how do you choose a wedding planner? Most venues come with a day of coordinator of sorts or banquet captain that is well versed in hosting an event. But by adding the right planner makes all the difference in the world. Have 25 centerpieces to place? How about 250 wedding favors for guests? Maybe that basket of flip flops needs to be put out. You get the picture. Having a planner for the big wedding day can be a lifesaver. You already have so much on your mind. Let your wedding planner take some of that burden off of your shoulders so you can relax because they do the thinking for you.

You should ESPECIALLY hire a wedding planner if you are hosting a wedding in a non-wedding venue location. Planners have endless resources at their fingertips to ensure you can have all of the luxuries of being at a wedding venue while under a tent in the backyard or a farm. They’re exceptional at finding every last detail and making sure that not only you and your guests are well cared for, but your vendors as well.

From a scheduling standpoint, they are a must have for most weddings. They’re the point of contact between vendors and are able to orchestrate things like meal plans to formalities, and everything in between. Just like a wedding DJ, they are a keeper of the keys for your wedding timeline.

Side note: When choosing a wedding planner, just like any other vendor, make sure they are a good fit. Not only from a purely financial standpoint, but for personality, reassurance, attention to detail, and last but certainly not least, experience with your wedding venue and vendor team.

We’ve seen planners go above and beyond for all parties involved and we’ve seen planners that panic at the first sign of a challenge. But solid wedding planners will take their “can do” attitude and leave no stone unturned when it comes to making sure that your wedding is exactly what you expect or even better.